I'm not a fan of fire hydrants in perfect parking spots in the city. I'm also not a fan of a stranger blowing his nose right in front of me while I'm in line for a bottled water in the cafeteria at work. And I am not a fan of first kisses. Absolutely hate them.Well, hate is a strong word...don't particularly care for them is more like it. I have had some good ones but I've also have had a few bad experiences with them as well. Who hasn't? But that's not the reason why I dislike them. It's mostly due to the fact that first kisses have so much pressure behind them. You want it to be perfect if you like the person. The movies on the big screen tell you they have to be for a perfect happy ending and then when it happens it's either a type of kiss that's barely there and is innocent as a nun or a kiss that doesn't have any flow to it because you're both trying to understand the others style. That's why I prefer that second. There's more anticipation, more thought, and wanting. However, we're not going to be focusing on that in this post, though I could give you 54 more reasons on why a second kiss is way better, but I'm not....we're going to be talking about the best type of kiss. You know the kind. Everyone has had at least one great kiss they can look back on and automatically give that cheesy grin when they think about it. The moment was perfect, the setting couldn't have been better, and you can still see that person in your mind that you shared it with. We've all had that. So, when a co-worker of mine mentioned about different types of kisses and how she's so tired of no one liking to kiss anymore, I thought about posting a blog about the topic of kissing.
I'm by no means claiming to be a kissing expert. But, I do enjoy kissing. A lot. I think it's something that's way underrated and goes basically extinct after you go past the age of fifteen. People my age basically want to skip it and go straight for the gold, like their penis is that leprechaun going past the beauty of the rainbow and looking for the damn treasure. What gives? Try just having a hot and heavy make out session with your significant other one afternoon when you're bored. I dare you. High school style.
Because of kissing not happening as often as it should, this can sometimes result in bad kissing.
Bummer.
I've had some bad kissers. Boy, have I. I've had some Saint Bernard kind, the little Nemo kind, the human tongue kind, the licking lizard kind, the vacuum cleaner kind, the statue kiss, the peck peck kind, the makes weird noises and sounds like a dying animal kind. Yeah, those are all blog worthy for sure, but that's another post. And I love impersonating them, remind me if you see me out and about. :-)
So, you may be asking yourself, what makes a bad kisser? Could you possibly be a bad kisser and not even know it? I've never met anyone who thought they were bad at it. In fact everyone thinks they're Tony the Tiger Great. But, here are a few signs that you may need to analyze your technique:
1.) He/She gave you a hot and heavy kiss one time before but now they just go in for a peck. Maybe because your tongue was going crazy like an eager beaver.
2.) They go for other parts to kiss other than your mouth. This may be a good thing but could be awfully odd for the second date on the front porch near traffic.
3.) They never initiate kissing. It could be because they know their tonsils will get quite the beating if they did.
4.) You see the other person's face glistening with your saliva after you're done. If I wanted to date a Saint Bernard I would go to an animal shelter. Take it easy, there should be no splash zone going on. Swallow, swallow, swallow. (Don't forget I'm talking about kissing, ya perv. Get your minds outta the gutter.)
5.) And finally, if you see blood on the other person...well, that's a bad sign. I'm a bit of biter but there's a big difference between a playful hot nibble and looking like you're trying to help the red cross' blood drive.
So, lets talk about that perfect kind of kiss. Now obviously this definition will vary from person to person and there are different perfect kinds of kisses for different moments in life. But, I'll be trying to explain the perfect kind of kiss on a second date, right outside your front door after an amazing evening out. This is a different type of writing for me and is in a woman's point of view, so men, bare with me, it's going to be almost like a kissing instruction manuel...almost:
The best kind of kiss is when you get the feeling that your heart is beating so fast, that you feel like it's going to beat right out of your chest. It's all you can hear. The feeling of your hands starting to tremble, traveling over to over voice, knowing it's so obvious but not caring at all. The feeling of needing to swallow but suddenly have forgotten how. Your eyes automatically closing the second his hands touch your face, but not out of choice. His face gets closer to yours and your foreheads slightly meet. Your lips barely open, just enough to let your deep breaths out. Both of your breathings intertwine and speed up at the same time. Lips are so close to each other, but have yet to meet. Waiting. Still. Finally, his lips just barely graze yours, just enough to make your lips chase his. But, he doesn't let you catch him. Not yet. 45 seconds will feel like 45 minutes to you. You push closer to him, almost building a force of frustration due to being so impatient for this anticipation. Your hands have moved from his arms, up his stomach, to his chest, and is now grasping the collar of his shirt, pulling him towards you. At last, he pushes his lips onto your top lip, which in turn makes yours push against his bottom. Your hands raise from his collar to the back of his neck, pulling him in with your fingers and nails. Hearts are still racing, maybe even more than before. It's impossible for you to think of anything but the moment you are in and a way to get closer.
So, something like that, perhaps? Of course, I left out a few add ons but I swear, the scene looks way better in my head. :-) Anyways, the point I'm trying to make is that the anticipation, the wanting, the slight tease before that kiss...that's the best part, the rest is simply bonus. But, hey...that's just me.
xox
hotto
