...Once upon a time, there was this girl. This girl didn't have any long extravagant hair a knight in shining armour could climb. She didn't have an evil step-mother who hated the ground she walked on. Nor did this girl talk and sing to animals on a regular basis. And she of course never lost a high heeled shoe in her life. So, this won't be your typical fairytale story you're used to reading. But, then again, neither is the girl in the story I'm about to tell you...It's no secret to those that know her, know that she's a social butterfly. Leave her alone in a room full of strangers for thirty minutes and she most likely traded contact info with half of the room.
By being this social butterfly, she always valued herself as a pretty good people reader. Her instincts were always good, her intuition was even better, and she automatically knew when to be cautious and to put up those imaginary walls of hers that every girl carries with them.
...Enter charming boy.
(Lets skip a few chapters a head in this fairy tale.)
...The girl sat there on the plane ride home from the far away land she had visited, fiddling with the rings on her hands, over-analyzing whether she made the right decision to visit the charming boy. She felt something in the pit of her stomach...regret? butterflies? unsureness? She didn't know. Whatever it was, it was an unknown kind of feeling she had never known. She just prayed to God things weren't going to change once she arrived back home. She thought she knew the charming boy well enough to know things wouldn't be weird between them after what had happen in this far away land. She was wrong...
...There's not a whole lot I regret in life. In fact I'm a firm believer that it's best not to, but I do regret one thing: Sleeping with one of my dear guy friends. If I could take back anything it would be that, because if I have learned anything in recent years it's this: sex with someone can either make or break the relationship you have with the that person. Once that line is crossed, sex changes everything and anyone that tells you it doesn't is a fucking liar.
If someone would have told me three months before the deed was done that he would go MIA, barely talk to me, and give no explanation on why he did all of this, I would have told that person how crazy they were. No way in hell would "Aaron" ever do that to me. ....I guess my people reader wasn't as good as I always thought it was.
When I was in certain moments with Aaron, I didn't over think anything. For once, as a bit of a planner and over-analyzer of things, I let everything happen. With every reach for the hand, I held his. With every random kiss on the street, I let it happen. And as much as I usually hated being held while sleeping throughout the night, I didn't mind it at all.
With Aaron I felt comfortable. I never had to censor what thought I was having, be extra cautious of what move to do next, or even second guess what everything meant. I was just me. Now I'm not saying I felt the "L" word for him. But, I really truly cared about him. When you talk to someone almost every day through some kind of communication, you end up developing some kind of feeling. It's rather impossible not to. ...But, then again, it wasn't for him.
The charming boy traced his fingertip along the constellation like pattern of freckles that showed on the girl's sun kissed face that morning, and he smiled. She thought to herself "If you feel nothing for me, please stop doing things like this, you're going to break my heart." He kissed her gently and handed her rose colored glasses to blind her with reality.
It's kinda screwed up how all of a sudden someone can just wake up and decide to hardly ever talk to you again. No reason. No explanation. No words even said. They just leave you hanging like you meant nothing to them. I think what hurts the most is how he made it look so easy to do. I can't blame him for not feeling the same, but I can blame him for how he handled it.
For those of you who are reading this, I don't want you to get a bad impression of who I'm talking about. Aaron is the kind of guy who people want to be friends with. His smile is contagious and his humor can make the sternest person laugh. He has a certain all American boy vibe to him, yet you've never met anyone like him. But, everyone has their flaws, including myself.
Aaron and I very rarely talk these days, nothing has been spoken about what happened or the trip that I went on to visit him.
Truth be told, I miss him. ...Let me rephrase that, I miss who I thought he was.
And if he knew me as well as he told me he did, he would have known what he did would have broke my heart. But, I guess he never knew me at all either...or simply didn't care.
(Lets go to the last chapter of this fairytale...)
Charming Boy breaks girl's heart.
The girl wiped the tears from her eyes, picked herself off the ground, and headed off into the sunset by herself. Unlike the usual fairytale, this girl saves herself in the end and there is no real "The End" to this story, for she saw every ending as a new beginning. And she continued on making her way to her "Happily Ever After."
xox
hotto
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