Part II: Rachel asked the question that I was wondering..."How much does this go far? That looks like a pound.""Roughly 27,000 dollars." He stated.
Dear John Travolta, You are not a lawyer and if you are, I sure hope you have some good lawyer friends to back you up.
Rachel's eyes widened with disbelief. She acted like this was a rarity in Vegas. That's like having disbelief for seeing a fucking whale at Sea World. Moron.
This was not Rachel's first rodeo when it came to cocaine. She had done it a handful of times after she had graduated high school and was going through her lesbian phase. She thought it was a glamorous drug. If Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan did it, it has to be. However, I had never done anything but Advil, not even weed, so I was debating on whether to do it.
Not doing weed and skipping right to Cocaine is like skipping out on jumping off the monkey bars and going straight to sky diving. There's a slight difference in risk I do believe.
Now, I'm not going to reveal on whether both Rachel and I did it or if only one of us did. Some things I like to keep private. However, I will state that both John Travolta and his sidekick did indeed.
After holding back an urge to sneeze with the pound of coke in front of me, the sidekick packed it away and we continued on talking.
John Travolta became less attractive to me, especially with some left over coke underneath his left nostril. I had better taste than that.
And something was off about the sidekick as I had stated earlier, he seemed...weird.
Rachel suggested music and John told the sidekick to get out his laptop and make a playlist for us to jam to.
As a music fanatic, I stood behind the sidekick to see what songs he had and noticed he had a naked male as his wallpaper.
Um, what the hell?
So, I said it. "Why is there a naked man on your computer?"
All of a sudden it got quiet and both John and the sidekick looked at each other.
"Uh, he wants to look like him. That's his inspiration for his body building." John assured me.
Well, I wouldn't mind having the body of Jessica Alba but you don't see me having a naked picture of her on my computer. Oh, and body building my ass, the sidekick looks like he would have trouble carrying 2 cans of Campbell's pork and beans.
"Yeah, what he said." The sidekick softly spoke.
I glanced at his music library before I sat back down. Cher, Dolly Parton, Melissa Etheridge. The sidekick was definitely a fan of Rock Hudson if you know who he is. Which there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. But, the fact there was one bed...made this situation all the more fishy
I sat back down on a leather seat, folded my arms and stared at the ground, trying to figure out what was going on. I was ready to leave. Sadly, it wasn't that easy. I first had to pee...again.
I excused myself to the little girl's room and snooped in their bathroom for evidence on what their deal was after I peed. All of sudden as I was looking in another satchel bag, the door swung open in a dramatic way and there was John staring at me with my hand in one of their bags.
"Heyyyyy." I said with energy and a fake smile.
"What are you doing?"
"Umm, I was looking fo..."
"Condoms weren't you? I've got it covered. I'm the man, I should be the one to provide that for our lovemaking." He says as he smiles.
Dear John Travolta, 1.) Lovemaking? Really? In Ohio when it's with a stranger we call it sex or fucking. 2.) Unless you plan on filming a sex ed video by putting the condoms on bananas from room service - you can forget about the need of condoms tonight.
"Umm, No. I was looking for some toothpaste. The alcohol gave me a bad taste in my mouth." I stated.
He handed me some gum, took my hand and escorted me out of the bathroom. Ugh, without me washing my hands first.
I could tell it was not going to be easy to get out of here.
Once again, he pushed me up against the wall and got in my face and was about to kiss me when all of a sudden I sneezed. I told you I had to sneeze earlier when the cocaine was on the table.
"Bless me." I simply said and began to laugh.
"Are you ready?" He said while pinning my arms against the wall.
"Ready? Ready for the war to end? Ready for Donald Trump to admit he has a toupee? Ready for my mother to quit treating me like I'm 14 years old? Ready for you to give me my personal space? Yeah, I'm ready for all four."
Well, he didn't look thrilled by my comment and asked how we could get rid of my friend.
Yeah, good luck with that, Buck-o. She's like a bad disease you can't get rid of.
I took my unwashed hands, planted them on his face and attempted to use some of my mediocre acting skills from theatre.
"Don't you worry, I'll get rid of her and we'll be able to make love." ...I felt like I was going to bust out laughing when saying that to him. I had to bite down on my tongue a couple times.
Well, this little statement I uttered had him jumping with joy and he went to the phone to order some champagne and strawberries. Which gave me enough time to think of my next move.
Sidekick boy was staring at his laptop in a seductive manner, probably looking at a photo of Ashton Kutcher without his shirt on. He was coked out and in his own little world, I wasn't worried about what he was gonna do.
I sat next to Rachel and told her that John Travolta was psycho and it was definitely time to go. She agreed and told me she had seen a gun in the other room but didn't want to freak me out.
...Great 27,000 dollars worth of coke in a bag, an angry man who is determined to make love to me, a gun in the other room, Dolly Parton playing on a laptop, and me having to pee...again.
What was I going to do? What would Jesus do?
Well, knowing that Jesus first would have probably hit me in the head with a bible and then make me live in some Holy Water for the next year, I was going to pass on what he would do.
I decided to just go with my gut feeling and do whatever came to mind.
Which was to pee again. FYI when I drink I have the bladder of a 98 year old woman.
So, I told Rachel to distract John while I went to pee so I could actually wash my hands this time.
She did and I came back to find them arguing. Loudly.
Which wasn't in my plans of getting us out of there.
As he was about to charge over to her and get in her face as well, I stepped in front of him and did the first thing I could think of that would make him stop.
I kissed him.
It took everything in my power to kiss that man and I remember his mouth tasting like a combined taste of peppermint patties and oranges.
"Let me get her a cab, you get rid of your friend, and you can have me any which way you want me when I come back in an hour." I offered.
He stood there for a second, looked at her and then looked at me and agreed to it, as long as I promised to come back and to give him my number so he can text me when I'm gone.
Wow! Really? He thinks I'm going to give him my real number?
I could have given him another phoney number but I wanted to do something to make myself laugh later....I gave him 330-867-5309. This was the start to giving out Jenny's number.
After we finally got out of the penthouse, we hauled ass out of there not looking back. It was 10 am Vegas time, and we had the same dresses on as we did the previous night at 8pm.
If you've ever been to Vegas you will know the morning look is nothing out of the ordinary. It's like the state of Nevada's jogging attire. More people are seen with a dress from last night on at 8am then they are with jogging shorts.
So in conclusion, I leave you with these statements:
1.) I hate watching John Travolta movies now.
2.) That was just one of the many stories from Vegas.
3.) When I hear Dolly Parton I always think of that night.
4.) I just now realized after writing this entry that I kissed him after rubbing my unwashed hands on his face. Gross.
xox
hotto
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