Losing my way in March and finding who I am in April...

As a lot of you know, March was quite the shitty month for me. No, it wasn't anything depression related. I could get out of bed when the sun came up, I didn't start crying when I saw a Hallmark commercial on the TV, and I didn't stay in the same sweatshirt the whole entire month. I was just in a crazy weird funk. I felt out of control with a lot of things and I felt my plate of life pile higher and higher. It was not something I enjoyed and it was the first time I've ever felt like that in my life, but once I got out of it, it basically introduced me to a new chapter in life. Which I needed more than ever. Hence the weight loss, the hair color change, and new attitude about life. I learned quite a few things in that month:

1.) I have the most amazing friends ever. Seriously. They're all my north star.

2.) I may not know exactly where I'm going in life, but I guess there's some kind of beauty behind that. I just wish sometimes I had a compass that worked.

3.) When there's sex involved, it can ruin a friendship you care about. I regret that. I regret that quite a bit.

4.) Timing is sometimes a real bitch. Be thankful if the timing is right in a situation, it doesn't happen often.

5.) Always trust that intuition, it's usually always right.

6.) Some people can go on with their lives and leave you standing alone with questions, completely leaving without a proper goodbye. No one needs a coward like that.

7.) Graduate school browsing can be the death of someone. Thankfully, I'm starting to figure things out.

8.) Sometimes letting yourself go and losing yourself for a while just gives you an opportunity to be a better version than before. Honestly, I haven't felt this confident and fabulous...and I'm actually thankful for getting lost for awhile.

9.) Be careful what you wish for...

10.) I reexamined what I deserve in life...the fucking world, thank you.

April has been kinder. Well, that's putting it mildly. Let me rephrase that: April has been pretty great. New job opportunity, finally getting a hang of everything in school, a new audition for a production in Youngstown, exciting plans with friends, spending time with a guy who isn't the typical crazy I run into...things are back on track. But, there's always a reminder on how it can immediately go off track. I could easily go on about each number specifically...but I'll just focus on number 9 for my post tomorrow: Be careful what you wish for.

xox

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